I love Xmas music so fuck you

Every year there comes a time when radio stations flip over from their normal every day crap to serenade us with the joyous sounds of Christ’s (or Santa’s) arrival. And I LOVE it! I don’t even believe in Jesus or Santa but I DO believe in their spirit and you can bet your fat fanny I am belting out at the top of my lungs “Mary did you KNOW that YOUR baby boy would some day walk on water” as I drive myself to and from work–a single tear glistening in my eye, wishing I was Clay Aiken’s back up.

But everyday I log on to Facebook and somebody’s bitching about Christmas music. AND granted I do think that Xmas tunes before thanksgiving is eff-ing obnoxious, but once black Friday hits and supposedly kicks off “the season” all bets are off! Pipe down or change the channel. Dissing on Christmas music is like calling someone’s baby ugly. Maybe it is, but keep that shit to yourself and maybe your best friend (unless it’s your best friend’s baby.) Simple as that.

There are a few songs that do drive me crazy when I hear them and that’s usually Wham’s “Last Christmas” and Boney M’s  ”Mary’s boy child Jesus Christ blahblahblahb song”.  But, man, when Bing Crosby comes on and starts crooning about Irish and Hawaiian Christmas’s or Elvis starts bawling about his blue, depressing-ass Christmas it transports me back… to a very weird childhood, but my childhood nonetheless and I think that’s what Christmas is all about: tapping into that Childhood where everything was magical, and viewed through a sparkly kaleidoscope of wonder and hope and where getting lied to by your parents was ok.

Well, I’m off to the Nutcracker.  Where I’m going to go listen to two hours of CLASSICAL Christmas music.  Stuff that in your pipe and smoke it, Xmas music haters.