HAHAHA OH EMM GEE, folks. I’m crazy. Ok so for as much Stephanie Meyer bashin’ and hatin’ that I do around these parts I have to totally confess to something sort of embarrassing. Thanks to the GENIUS that IS Netflix I have found myself ass deep in The Vampire Diaries. Whoops. How’d that happen? I remember back in 2009 when the show was coming out and how I was going to have to check it out–and I did, but I only got about ten episodes in before I decided to give it up because it was coming across as poorly written, shallow, a little vapid and just too CW soap opera-y for me. I felt like it was trying to cash in on the cash cow that Twilight was and still (sadly) is.
And they sort of did steal stupid Edward’s overall look from Twilight and gave it to the main character Stefan. (Not to be confused with SNL’s Stefon, unfortunately.) The guy playing Stefan is a MEAT head. There’s just something about him. Something that is so familiar to me but I just can’t put my finger on it.
- mmmmm me want coookie
Hmmm oh well. Then there’s his HOT as shit brother Damon. I’ve been an Ian Somerhalder fan since his early CW days on Smallville and followed him to Lost a few years after that. I don’t know, I guess I’m a sucker for the tall, dark, and brooding. I can’t even look at him without wanting to lick his face off. And he has that half-crooked smile/smirk that Stephanie Meyer loves writing about. In a half-crooked smile face-off between him and Edward Cullen, Damon would win hands down every time. See below
Anyway, all that wasn’t enough to keep me invested two years ago, but now it was on Netflix just BEGGING to be checked out. I picked up right where I left off and HOLY SHIT: turns out this isn’t a half bad series. It’s still chock full of compressed cheese in a can, but the plot totally thickened right up like gravy on Thanksgiving (happy Thanksgiving BTW, everyone). The characters fleshed out and the writing got better. The actors seemed to finally hit a stride with the characters they were portraying, whereas in the beginning it seemed as though they weren’t really comfortable with anything they were doing. (Almost as if they knew how cheesy they were being.) However something that really bugs me is the super, emo Dawson’s Creek soundtrack. I can’t stand it when shows use Top 40 selections when they need to convey overwrought, teenage angst. It drives me ca-razy and actually ruins whatever emotion it is they’re trying to sell me. If I wanted to listen to the radio, I WOULD! The High School setting also sucks (no pun intended) mostly because the actors are all like almost 30 and no amount of suspension of disbelief is going to convince me these kids are high schoolers.
best line ever
I remember reading these books in middle school and being super, super obsessed with them. Like I was convinced that if I never got to have a vampire for a boyfriend I would never be happy at all. God reality has been such a bitch. I still have these books and since watching this show my curiosity got the better of me so I decided to re-read the first book and see what the fuss was all about and HOLY SHIT BALLS. I almost feel like it’s necessary to apologize for calling Stephanie Meyer a hack. This book is TERRIBLE. So so so so so so terrible that it’s actually really funny. Interestingly, when the show says it’s “based on the books” it should say “we borrowed the title of these books”. The few things the show and the book share are the title, the names of the characters and the subject of vampires.
your poetic license has been re-instated
The first VD book chronicles how this super, popular bitchy girl who cares about nothing else but her status wants to get with the super, hot new guy (vampire) but he really wants nothing to do with her which drives her crazy and only makes her want him more. And she will stop at NOTHING to have him which means going out with other boys to make him “jealous”. She winds up partying down at the cemetery (after being crowned prom queen)where she gets almost raped by some drunk high schooler but Stefan (vampire) happens to be moping about the cemetery (as vampires are wont to do) and rescues her by kicking this dude’s ass. They go back to his place to “clean up” but they end up in a fiery, hot, passionate, never-ending embrace where they confess their undying love to each other. WHAT???? Cue record scratch. This is their second or third encounter! They haven’t even gone to the malt shop for a date yet! Sorry if I spoiled it for any of you wanting to read the book, but you can thank me now. It’s crap. And now it’s very clear as to why the tv show decided to take things in a… much different direction. (Thank you, God.)
